Not again...

So I think I'm starting to go back into depression. Even though I've reconnected with my family and I have enough money to keep paying my bills, I'm just not happy. I don't think I'll be happy until I'm able to find a good job that I like that actually pays pretty well. I'm tired of busting my ass all day long and only bringing home $40-$50. Even if I have to move somewhere else, I'll gladly go if it means that I'll be happy.

Another thing that is really getting me down is that I don't have a place of my own. Right now I'm staying with my sister which is fine but I feel like I'll never be able to move out of her house or I'll have to go leave with me parents again which I don't want to do. I would to be free and independent but I don't ever see that happening because I can't get any other job besides the piece of shit job I have right now.

Sometimes I feel it would be easier to just take the little money I have, sell all my stuff (DVD's, video games, TV, phones) and just go. Everything is all packed up anyways. Why not leave and try to find somewhere I'm happy.

Just thinking about all this shit pushes me further and further down into what I think is depression. I know everyone just wants to help me out by giving me a place to stay, paying for things, getting me gifts but people don't realize that really just makes me feel like an even bigger piece of shit knowing that I can't even do that stuff for myself and that I need to rely on other people to do that shit for me.

Maybe one day, everything in my life will turn around but right now I see no end and I see no possible way for my life to go the way I want it to. Especially since I have no work experience and I have no schooling. Awesome..... I can't wait to see how shitty everything is going to turn out...