Not again...

So I think I'm starting to go back into depression. Even though I've reconnected with my family and I have enough money to keep paying my bills, I'm just not happy. I don't think I'll be happy until I'm able to find a good job that I like that actually pays pretty well. I'm tired of busting my ass all day long and only bringing home $40-$50. Even if I have to move somewhere else, I'll gladly go if it means that I'll be happy.

Another thing that is really getting me down is that I don't have a place of my own. Right now I'm staying with my sister which is fine but I feel like I'll never be able to move out of her house or I'll have to go leave with me parents again which I don't want to do. I would to be free and independent but I don't ever see that happening because I can't get any other job besides the piece of shit job I have right now.

Sometimes I feel it would be easier to just take the little money I have, sell all my stuff (DVD's, video games, TV, phones) and just go. Everything is all packed up anyways. Why not leave and try to find somewhere I'm happy.

Just thinking about all this shit pushes me further and further down into what I think is depression. I know everyone just wants to help me out by giving me a place to stay, paying for things, getting me gifts but people don't realize that really just makes me feel like an even bigger piece of shit knowing that I can't even do that stuff for myself and that I need to rely on other people to do that shit for me.

Maybe one day, everything in my life will turn around but right now I see no end and I see no possible way for my life to go the way I want it to. Especially since I have no work experience and I have no schooling. Awesome..... I can't wait to see how shitty everything is going to turn out...

Time to bitch...

I'm not really going to bitch too much on this blog about my work but I think I'll make an exception tonight. So, for everyone who knows me, I'm a delivery driver for Jimmy John's but I recently was told that the company isn't sure if I can continue to drive for the company because of a ticket that I got sometime during the summer. Personally, I think this is so fucking stupid. It's not like I got a ticket on the job like some of the other drivers have but for some reason, the company isn't doing anything about that. The worst part of this all is my boss continues to tell me I will find out soon if I can start driving. The owner and the insurance company were supposed to have a meeting earlier today about my situation and I still haven't heard anything from them. How fucking hard is it to figure out if someone can drive or not. Don't take a fucking week to give me an answer, you big pieces of shits...

Ok enough about that... But I do have one more thing to bitch about. And that it.....

Applying for a job online. What a stupid idea. Personally, if I were a manager, I would want to be able to see what a person looks and and how they carry themselves before I call them up to set up an interview. I also think that when a person hands in an application, right then is a good time to talk to a person and see if you get a good vibe from the person. So screw applying for any job online. I will not be applying for any job that requires me to go on their website.

Well that's all the bitching I will be doing for the next week or so... Maybe...

3 times in 12 months...

So everyone in the state of Nebraska knows that the Cornhuskers lost last night in the Big XII championship so no need to really go into depth about that. What I'm wanna talk about is Nebraska's bowl game. The bowl picks were all released tonight and just like most of the people in Nebraska, I thought the Huskers would be heading to Tempe, AZ to play our soon-to-be rivals, Iowa in the Insight Bowl. Much to my surprise, the committee for the Insight Bowl decided they wanted to go with Nebraska's Big XII North rival, the Missouri Tigers and Nebraska got stuck with going back to the Holiday Bowl for the second time in a row. Our opponent in the Holiday Bowl, you ask.... For the second time this season, Nebraska will go against Jake Locker and the Washington Huskies.

I'm kind of upset about having to play the Huskies twice in one season but I guess the Holiday Bowl committee really had no other choice but the take the Huskies. The reason they had to the Huskies is because the Holiday Bowl, every year, has to take a 6+ win team from both the Big 12 and the Pac-10. With Oregon going to the BCS National Championship game and Stanford (11-1) going to the Orange Bowl and Arizona going to the Alamo Bowl, the Holiday Bowl had one choice and they had to go with Washington.

The Holiday isn't until the 28th of December so hopefully in the next 3 1/2 weeks, the Huskers can get all their players healthy, especially the freshman Taylor Martinez, and they can have another 500+ yard game just like they did at the beginning of the season in Seattle.

Oh yeah, before I stop writing, you're probably wondering why the title of this blog is "3 times in 12 months...". Well, count how many times Nebraska is going to be playing Washington starting with this season and ending next season.

So close, yet so far away

So, as of late, I've been staying with my sister and since she only lives in a one bedroom apartment, I get the comfort of sleeping on the couch all the time. It's not bad but it just sucks not having a place to call my own. Besides that I'm going on with my daily routine of just going to work and coming home and searching for some sort of college program that I want to go into. I've narrowed my search down to two options....

My first option is a degree in computer software engineering/development. The reason I'm leaning towards this degree is because I want to, one day, be a video game designer. Yes, I know, every kid that grew up playing video games wants to have a job that has to do with the video game industry, but no one really considers the actual development part of it so I see a lot more opportunities in this field than I do in the field of video game testers. Plus I think I would get a lot more satisfaction if I could say that I help create the next big thing.

The second option I'm leaning towards is a sports management degree. A lot of people probably don't know what this is. This degree is basically the degree you get if you want to become a sports agent, coaching, sports writers, team manager and the list goes on and on. There many different opportunities that come from having a sports management degree. With this degree, I would most likely try to get affiliated with a baseball team, such as the Omaha Stormchasers, and maybe one day be able to work my way up to the big league. I could even try to get on with the Omaha Nighthawks.

Even tho I know the two programs that I would want to go into, I still don't know where I would be able to get the money except for taking out student loans and I really don't want to have to do that. I look at student loans and all I see is myself being in debt for the next 10 years. Who wants to do that?

So, thats all I really have on my mind right now but new things keep popping onto my head daily so be on the lookout.